It is in the nature of living relationships that disagreements arise, they are good and even important to some extent, cause nothing happens without a reason.
It is all the more important to have guidelines for dealing peacefully with disputes.
Have you ever heard of Ho'oponopono?
Ho'oponopono is a Hawaiian forgiveness ritual and the key to a harmonious life.
Everyone should know this ritual, especially for our children I would wish it to be passed on.
The Hawaiians call your group of islands
"Land of Aloha, Land of Love" They say:
“Don't let the sun go down without a ho'oponopono - forgive.
Everything is one and nothing happens without influencing your counterpart and the environment.
Free translation means putting things in order, making up for mistakes or correcting them, repairing them.
It is through this art of problem solving that you find peace for yourself and that is a great gift.
This wonderful mantra in 4 sentences is a blessing for a happy life in peace and harmony.
Problems are a constant companion in our life, they are simply part of it and have a meaning. Confrontations are not pleasant, but they are no less important in order to grow and mature in relationships, and in the end ideally, to emerge stronger and in a better version, is the goal of it.
A constructive, appreciative dispute resolution or opinion representation can be learned just as well as forgiving oneself and others.
Forgiveness is just as important and helpful in dealing with relationships on a day-to-day basis as it is for major injuries that are deep and perhaps far in the past.
"You can dissolve old injuries with Ho'oponopono."
The subject of forgiveness is often fraught with serious blockages.
When we are injured, it is often difficult for us to break open our protective cloak and our hard shell, to jump over our shadow and to approach the other.
But why is forgiveness so important?
When we carry around resentment and anger, we put ourselves in shackles.
It is as if we were abandoned in the desert and cannot find the oasis.
We die of thirst, poison internally and punish ourselves.
We are not free, we eat the anger inside us and ultimately we get sick and unhappy. It is not worth remaining in displeasure.
Over the years we no longer have some injuries in our consciousness and yet they restrict us in our subconscious.
It can be so easy to let go and find peace with yourself, the situation and with the person who hurt us.
Even with feelings of guilt, letting go and accepting the situation helps us out from self-judgment .
But how do I approach the subject?
Hawaiians learn from childhood to incorporate this tradition into their everyday lives.
The ritual is a natural part of daily life and is celebrated in the evening at the table or before going to bed, like a prayer.
The wonderful thing about it is that you pronounce the beliefs for yourself and thus achieve energetic healing.
It is fascinating what changes just because we speak the following sentences for ourselves.
Ho'oponopono is divided into four simple sentences:
"I'm sorry !"
"Please forgive me !"
"I love you !"
"Thanks !"
Let's take a closer look at these sentences that help to relieve the tense situation.
"I'm sorry !"
Maybe you are asking yourself right here, why should I be sorry, the other one hurt me.
But the point is to see the situation as such, I am sorry that the situation turned out that way.
Why did it come to this? What made it happen? Examples of this are the following:
I'm sorry that you hurt me!
I'm sorry for hurting you.
I am sorry that in this situation we did not find a way to find a solution together?
"Please forgive me !"
The following statements are encouraging for yourself to take the step.
I felt misunderstood !
I couldn't get out of my skin at that moment !
I was trapped in my ego, but now I see more clearly.
I wasn't on the right track.
"I forgive myself !"
For example, ask yourself the following questions:
Why did I hurt the other?
What happened that made me act like this?
Why am I so strict with myself?
Why do I feel guilty?
Tell yourself:
At that moment I couldn't act differently, but I have a different point of view now.
"I forgive you ! "
This is often the part that is the most difficult to pronounce.
In some situations you might say to yourself, I can never forgive that, but it is worth a try because if we forgive, we will be forgiven in that moment.
We feel liberated and the fetters are broken. It just changes everything. Love flows, love dissolves.
The following statements are helpful here:
I look at why you acted like this!
I'm trying to understand what made you hurt me!
I may not forget what happened, but I try to let go to be free and to be at peace with the situation.
"Please forgive yourself too ! "
I wish my counterpart that he/she can also forgive himself and open up to freedom and peace within himself. I wish for him/her to be able to let go and be ready for a new beginning!
"I love you ! "
This may not be easy to say in a situation of resentment and anger.
What can help you here, however, is to see the other in his perfection, as he is created in his inner core and in his higher, gentle, wonderful self.
Try to imagine the other person as an innocent child. What has happened in his / her life that has shaped him / her. That will open your heart.
"Thank you ! "
I thank that I can let go of my resentment, that I experience forgiveness as much as I can forgive.
That I can start over at this moment and am free from accusations, judgments and attachments.
"Thank you,
that healing is now happening in me & you - in us ! "
It is the time to start over! It is a gift to reap peace.
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is a quality of the strong. "
Mahatma Gandhi
The wonderful thing about it is that the inner saying of a Ho'oponoponos about energy establishes the connection.
That means you don't even have to speak to the other person directly or say it in front of them, you speak it for yourself in silence and that is precisely what has great power.
Of course, this does not exclude consciously approaching the other person and asking for forgiveness or talking about the injuries that have occurred.
However, sometimes a little distance is the better way. Go inside, think about it, and then go back to each other.
The Ho'oponopono really helps in every situation, even acutely it calms the mind, if you speak it out for yourself in silence, you will soon notice that the waves are already smoothing out.
Miracles are really possible here, things happen that you would never have expected, try it out for yourself, you will be amazed what happens.
"Forgiveness is not a one-time thing, forgiveness is a lifestyle."
Dr. Martin Luther King
Our relationships are the most important thing we have, with ourselves and our loved ones, with our neighbors & acquaintances and the supposed stranger you will meet next, because he / she is also a friend you do not know yet.
"The peace in you is a piece of world peace."
In this sense, lot´s of love from me to you,
Your Nadja
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